


Unfeeling

by Shaded Mazoku (Ashkaztra)



Series: Everyday Mayhem [2]
Category: Versus (2000 Kitamura)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-28
Updated: 2011-04-28
Packaged: 2017-10-18 18:28:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/191908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashkaztra/pseuds/Shaded%20Mazoku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One who lacks feeling, lacks much.</p><p>For smallfandomflsh on LJ, challenge #2: Jaded.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unfeeling

**Author's Note:**

> I tend to use actor names for the characters, since both are fairly common Japanese names, and they need to call each other something.

Arai likes to call him things like cold, disinterested and unemotional. Maybe it's the truth, because Kazuhito doesn't care. Not when Arai gets him alone, somewhere where Watabe and Kenji aren't around, and calls him much worse. He calls him a ice-cold, uncaring bastard, says that he might as well be dead inside. Kazuhito watches him as he insults him, his dark eyes never showing any feelings.

Matsumoto is kinder. The little man looks at him sometimes, as though he's not sure whether he should admire him or run away screaming. It is pretty much his default expression. He says that Kazuhito is jaded. Mostly because he is terrified of insulting him, and by proxy also Kenji, but also because he is genuinely quite nice, when he's not panicking.

Kazuhito himself doesn't really care. Maybe he is dead inside. Ayumi certainly seems to think he is, pressing her ample breasts against his back like a soapland girl. Hoshimi snorts at her, but says nothing. Kenji grins so wide it looks like his face is split open, which seems friendly but means someone will die. And Kazuhito feels nothing, except some minor annoyance. A man must be jaded if he cannot even feel something with a beauty like Ayumi offering herself to him.

He isn't bothered by his lack of emotions. He knows, of course, that he should be, but it doesn't matter to him. When he was younger, he had been more emotional but it hadn't gotten him anywhere. They'd just made him feel lost and confused. They'd worn him out. He'd had a choice; give up feeling or give up entirely. The world had made him hurt. Worn him down until he was as thin and fragile as rice paper. So he'd locked his emotions away and he didn't even miss them. Being jaded is easier than feeling. It let's him focus on the important things, not letting his mind get cluttered. His mind is his best quality, after all, and if it means giving up emotion, he will make that sacrifice. It's all right, though. Kenji is emotional for both of them. The other man lets his feelings rule his decisions all the time, never letting himself dwell on possible consequences.

And when they are together, it seems as though Kenji's emotions bleed over into Kazuhito, because he feels so much more around him than he has ever felt, even when he had tried to feel, and it's intoxicating. It is something he never wants to give up. He had never believed in the idea of two people filling each other out before he met Kenji, but he believes now. He'll never admit it to anyone, of course. And that means they'll never know, because nobody keeps secrets like a man who has no use for emotions any more.

For this kind of feeling, he'll be jaded. It's worth the trade-off. He'll be jaded and Kenji can be overly emotional.

They may both be dysfunctional, but together, they work.


End file.
